My life with three women…

Yelling at me about your low car prices WILL NOT entice me to come buy a car from you. Honestly, it makes me want to travel to another city to buy the car I want so I don’t have to have your dealership logo on my car. I am sure that the dealerships in the other cities have the same idiotic commercials, but at least I don’t have to hear them so it makes buying a car from them better, in my eyes. Stupid commercials that pretend to be contestants on game shows, or Austin Powers or your stereotyped version of Asian-Americans just piss me off. I don’t get traffic in the morning much anymore because I have almost boycotted the radio stations that play those stupid commercials. I can’t stand it and would rather pay for satellite radio so I do not have to hear dealership commercials anymore. Why don’t they realize they don’t have to advertise like that? People are going to buy cars. The market isn’t going away. If those places have that kind of money to pay for that much ad time, then use it to piss away on stupid commercials, they certainly don’t need my purchase. And I don’t think I am alone on this. Tell me you have a great deal on a great vehicle that gets good gas mileage and throw in 5 oil changes/tire rotations. Customers want service and most savvy customers know that if you are spending that much money on your ads, they are paying for it when they buy your merchandise. Start giving better service and you won’t have to prop up with your cowboy hat and suit to yell at me about how you can get me financed. If you’re going to wear the hat, AT LEAST get a Western suit. The hat just looks stupid with a business suit…

I came across a post on a friend’s blog not long ago that troubled me. A haircut turned in to a very tough situation for her. Here is the post. Then, after some reflection on the situation, Carolyn filed this post where she has concluded that her anger at her husband’s reaction to her haircut was maybe a little unfair.

This got me to thinking about the recent discussions I have had with my wife about her getting her hair cut and why I am not sure I like the idea.

Yes, I am writing a post about women’s hair - and it gets deep… Deeper than it should, but here goes!

BTW, here is where I start playing the generalization game (only because of experience), but most men did not start a relationship with a woman solely because of her hair. It can play a part, but really, I have NEVER heard a man say, “Dude, check out her hair!”, then move on to comments about other parts of her body. NEVER. So, how could a haircut cause so much strife between a couple?

Here is where I think it gets deeper than it probably should, but most men in a relationship don’t REALLY notice a woman’s hair unless she does something major. Yes, we notice when you get highlights or layers cut in to your hair - but most of the time, we don’t know exactly what’s different, just that there is something different. And wouldn’t it be a tense situation when a man notices the change, but doesn’t know how to say what the change is so an already conscious woman reads too much into the comment and well… All of the sudden, hair is REALLY important. But is it about noticing her hair or “her?” That is probably discussed in the Mars and Venus book, so we’ll skip that…

Let me offer my explanation of why men stay out of the “hair business” and only from my experiences. Most men view a woman’s hair as some sort of emotional barometer that indicates the level of change that woman is in need of.

Let me set this one up a little bit.

Women invest countless hours, months and years into their hair. They also (lucky for us) invest countless hours, months and (hopefully) years into their realtionship with us. (Yes, I am comparing a woman’s relationship with her hair to her relationship with her man.) Everything seems to be going along just great, the next thing you know, your wife/girlfriend’s trip to the beauty shop to get some highlights has turned into a life altering experience - the long hair that *everyone* is used to is gone and Meg Ryan’s “Sleepless In Seattle” hair has now planted itself on your wife/girlfriend’s head…

In my limited experience, personally and with so many guy friends, when the hair goes - so do you. It’s just that simple. A decision to change something that big usually means that other life decisions about change are being made. And you, sir, could be up for negotiation.

Saturday night, we met some friends and their daughter for dinner at Huey’s. Saturday night means that there were a lot of people there. Petrea had an audience… She ordered chicken and papas (fries) and was being pretty good. She has no real volume control - takes after her dad in that department. Anyway, after she ate she told Mom that she had to go “potty.” So, they went to the restroom. The conversation continued at the table until it was broken by my sweet daughter’s voice halfway across the room, “DADDY! I GO POOPIE!”

What, pray tell, is the appropriate response? A hug and, “Baby, I’m so proud…”

Not long ago, the woman that cleans our house on Fridays (let’s call her Maria to protect the innocent) gave us a beautiful agave cactus. It was potted and HUGE. It grew for a few months and it had some baby cacti that needed to be put in their own little pots. So, I started the process of getting the big cactus out of this HUGE pot and dividing them up. As I began pulling the big cactus and all of it’s baby cacti out of the big pot, I noticed there was something in the bottom of the pot. My first reaction was that it was “cactus food” of some sort and I would get to it later. So, I turned my attention to getting all the cacti (I like that word, can’t you tell) potted in their own little pots. Once I was satisfied that everyone was planted in a suitable pot, I turned my attention back to the original pot and the “cactus food.” It was then I made a crazy and horrible discovery…

It was actually a sealed Ball jar in the bottom of the cactus pot. In this jar was a crumpled “form” that looked wet and had a clammy looking texture to it. It almost looked like some sort of extremity from an animal - maybe a weird bird foot, or (please no, please no) a very small hand. Whatever it was had two red tips, two blue tips and a yellow tipped, larger “finger.” I could see other things in the jar; balled up paper, pins with different colored heads on them, a wad of hair tied together with a string… The more I looked, the uneasier I was getting.

I couldn’t bring myself to open the jar. I put it down and waited for Friday to ask Maria WTH.

Friday came and so did Maria. She took the jar and immediately, to my horrified self, opened it. She took out a REAL LIVE VOODOO DOLL. Complete with hate pins and hair and a written curse. You couldn’t read the curse, because there was a small amount of liquid in the jar and it had caused the ink to blur and the paper to rot. I don’t want to know what it said, anyway. Maria had a story to pinpoint the creation of the doll but I really didn’t care. I just wanted it away. Away from me and away from my wife and kids. Quick.

Now, I don’t really believe in voodoo or black magic but no one has ever been able to give me any good evidence about how Robert Johnson quickly learned to play guitar like he did so maybe, just maybe, this thing needed to be gone - and fast. Better safe than sorry, right?  For instance, in my short life I have noticed many folks from the country can be a little more reserved about being in the woods at night than some, say, city folks. I think it probably stems from the thought that country folks know what really goes on in the woods. Stuff that never makes the papers, if you know what I mean. That being said, I am not all that comfortable in the woods at night…

So, the doll had to go.

Sunday, my wife and I were driving to church. Nothing out of the ordinary, really - but I decided that I needed to hear some music from my iPhone during the ride in. After a few songs, my wife flat out told me, “You know, when we first met, I thought you were a huge dork. Then the more we hung out and I realized you listened to good music, you got cuter.”

Now, I am not surprised by the revelation that someone thought/thinks I am a dork. I have more than one blog and a twitter account, most people think that is enough. But to think that the mother of my two kids is with me today because of my cd collection is, well, amazing, exciting and flat out scary as hell!

I don’t remember trying to impress her with the music I listened to and I don’t think that my taste has really changed all that much. However, I do/did have some guilty pleasure cds. What if she “found” my Vanilla Ice cd? Wait, I used to play it when I got drunk so she definitely heard that… What if she found my ENIGMA cd? Wait, every guy in college had one of those…

But, she doesn’t seem to remember those (thank the Lord) or, at least, she didn’t judge me by them. She heard a few easy songs by The Black Crowes and told me that it reminded her of being young and being with me and those are good memories for her. Turns out, they are the best memories for me!

Last night, we were sitting in the living room recovering from the absolutely wonderful dinner I made…

Anyway, Autumn and PT and I were really enjoying some time together, just hanging. Soah had already gone to bed, and we were trying to get Petrea to wind down. She started to get a little bit calm and she usually hits this point where she gets kinda maternal. She wants to make sure you have a pillow or are under the blanket or have enough to drink… Pretty amazing for a 2.5 year old, I think. Then, Autumn says, “PT, I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here with us.”

That hit me hard and really made me think. And I came to an easy conclusion…

For the better part of 32 years, my top two biggest fears were drowning and sharks. Hell, I could have called it a success after the 2.4 mile swim in the Gulf of Mexico and been happy! But, all of the sudden, I had a child. Drowning and sharks quickly tumbled down the list and I didn’t even know it until it sank in last night.

Nothing scares me more than the thought of losing one of my children. Nothing. My daughters have improved my life in ways that I can’t possibly describe in words. And it happens every single day. I can’t even be certain that words to describe the feeling and the love I have for them exist! There is no way that I deserve two beautiful daughters - but they are here, all the same.

I know I am lucky to have children, and I don’t take them lightly. Sure, they come with a responsibility and a sacrifice. Maybe sacrifice isn’t the right word. As a parent, you certainly have to make some compromises. But, way more often, what I get from them is better than whatever it was that I gave up. Sure, I would like to go one dates with my wife more, ride my bike more and race triathlons more - maybe even get faster and do another Ironman. But right now, I get to dole out Goldfish and applesauce on Saturday mornings instead of 50 mile bike rides. Life could be different than it is right now, but I don’t know how it could get better!

I know parents who have lost children and I can’t imagine the sadness that grips them on what has to be a daily basis. I pray daily that I don’t ever have to know that pain. I don’t think I am that strong - no, I am sure I am not that strong.

Kiss your babies…

It’s not a pornroll - I want your real live thoughts. Shaved or not. Vote on which one you like best.

For the first time in EASILY ten years, I don’t have facial hair. I don’t know why I shaved, but I did. Of course, I had to take my own picture…

There are a lot, and I mean A LOT of Dad blogs out there. There are even MORE Mom blogs out there. So, does it mean this is a Dad blog because I am a Dad? Not really, but that is what it turns out to be. A Dad Blog. Just count me in as one of the many.

So, what is the first post? What is the thing that has been on my mind that FINALLY drove me to create my own spot on the web? It should be something creative, something really hip and catchy… But, it turns out that it really isn’t. I wanted to post and talk about music. Really?

I was driving the other day, go figure, and a song came on the radio that really made me think about my girls. Honestly, it got to me. It is a song by Trace Adkins called “You’re Gonna Miss This.” In a nutshell, it talks about how things may not look so good from where you are standing at some particular point in time, but one day you’re going to look back and see how good things were/are. For starters, I am lucky. Very lucky. I may not have been dealt the best cards but it is certainly good enough to stick around and play! In other words, you won’t find me really complaining too often. But, I also know that I take things for granted more than I should.

There are a few other songs that really get me - Jimmy Buffett’s “Little Miss Magic,” Lenny Kravitz’s “Butterfly,” Kenny Chesney’s “There Goes My Life.” I imagine these songs get me because I have girls and these seem to be about, well, girls. I even made them a little mix CD (can you tell I grew up in the 80’s?) so they would have some of these favorite songs when they get older - assuming they have something to listen to a CD on when they get that age

So, as a parent, what are some songs or music that make you think of your kids and why? Would you share these songs and stories with them as they get older?

I am finally starting my own blog. One that doesn’t have to be all family friendly and full of cute pics of the girls. Of course, there will be plenty of cute pics and stories - and it will be mostly family friendly. As it turns out, I do have some things to say, I just have to get settled and put them down. I have not really been without the means to communicate, just without the real motivation. So, some changes in my life have given me the motivation and the means. Here we go!